When we trust Him with everything. When we give Him access to everything in our lives.
So one of the things I miss greatly being in a relationship are surprises. I LOVE SURPRISES! I love being taken on trips where I don’t know where I’m going until we are there. I love when someone gives me presents for no reason except they thought of me. I love getting money to spend on anything I want without feeling guilty that I should be spending it on something responsible. I know many of you are probably like that, too. I am on my 3rd year though of being completely broke and paycheck to paycheck. A few times I’ve been comfortable, some unforeseen expense comes up and drains me back to zero… again, you may relate.
I have these conversations with God about why I should get remarried… “Well, who is going to protect the girls?” “Well, I just want someone to talk to…” “But I just want someone to think of me and we can bless each other…” “But look at him… that marriage… that single mom who is happily remarried…”
His answer? “I will protect them better than any man can.” “I am the best listener, and I will never say the wrong thing.” “How many times do I and have I blessed you and surprised you already? Do you think that’s going to stop?”
Well, I’m constantly questioning Him and He’s constantly affirming His commitment to providing me for my needs… AND my wants.
I do understand Gomer, Hosea’s wife. I am her and God is my Hosea; He is my husband. He takes care of me, supports me and loves me better than any man can. I get mad at Him, and He listens patiently. I have a need, and He fills it. I get sad, and He blesses me by surprising me.
I swear, I can’t even count how many times people have come to me with a special surprise to tell me that God put me on their heart to bless. Some examples include: an envelope of $500 cash when I had nothing, an envelope of gift cards from anonymous people, presents at my front door for my girls for Christmas, and each Christmas I’ve had an abundance of support that have sometimes lasted me months.
What’s really messed up about it is that these things always happen when I’m being a brat… when I’m whining and complaining to Him about being single or the challenge of doing everything on my own, or when things get really hard, and I just want to lay down and quit on Him and belligerently walk into sin… like recently.
Don’t get me wrong… I WANT to be Gomer sometimes. I want to run off into the world and do whatever the heck I want and then come back to God who is comfortable and reliable. I even go so far as to put myself in compromising situations sometimes. Whatever my motivation is though, thrill seeking, testing the waters of sin, or even deciding beforehand that I’m going to jump right in, He is there and won’t let me go. Every time I attempt to do something stupid, at some point on my way, one thought crosses my mind… “Be with me, and guide my path.” And guess what? He is faithful when I am not.
You may be asking, “Seriously?!? Why would God go with you when you are walking into a place specifically to sin?” Well, I ask him to walk with me into my house, where I’m sure that I sin the most. I ask him to walk into my workplace, the 2nd most sinful place for me. Why can’t I ask Him to walk with me on my path to get myself into trouble?
Well the answer is, I don’t… I don’t get into trouble and I never follow through with my evil-intended plans. He puts the right people in my path where I get into the most amazing conversations with the most interesting, good-hearted people, and I leave there with NO REGRETS!! Pretty wonderful, if I say so myself.
Perfect example is New Years Eve of this year. I went with a non-Christian friend to a karaoke party where I didn’t know the host. I asked God to be with me, like always. For a Christian, it’s so hard to be in situations like that, as I’m sure you know if you’ve gotten this far. I found out quickly that I knew many of the people there from a Karaoke bar the year before. Well of course I sang, got people dancing, and later on in the night sat down in front of the appetizers. I began a conversation with the older man next to me. He told me that he was 22 years sober, that he has been friends with the host for years, that he was a believer, and went to the main campus of our church. We had the best time chatting. Next thing we knew, the countdown had started. When we did the count-down, I realized that THAT was the BEST place for me to be. It wasn’t awkward or weird at all. There was no pressure to conform, and God had strategically placed me there for both of us.
Today, He blessed me with this: